smiles

Today my mom suprised Lindsey and me by bringing Miss Betty over for lunch (which, for her, was ice cream). Miss Betty said every 5 or 10 minutes, as we sat and ate and smiled and looked at the bird feeder, "Don't you ever wonder why God made birds?" and "Now what do you girls want to study in school?" But she also said once, "Life is always fun. You just have to look at it from an angle. Y'all remember that."

I finished Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf today, and i think i'm going to like it better as i keep thinking about it. For some reason, one of the gladdest bits for me was when she compared a character to a harpy, and i knew what she was talking about from reading Dante in high school. I think Virginia Woolf is one of those authors who Goes There: using words to describe things that are not physically real, just a wild mental state. I feel funny about doing that in this blog, however slight my attempts are; i think i am afraid that you wouldn't be able to relate, and then think i was off my rocker. Woolf does it a lot, unabashedly, it seems, because maybe she was trying to be a relentless artist.

Sitting at the kitchen table today, i was looking up raw-food recipes and information, and i had a Sean Hayes station going on Pandora, and my hair was in pigtail braids, and i felt like a true person.

As i was waiting at a red light today, a car came up next to me with its windows down, blaring Bob Dylan with his piercing harmonica. I didn't look over, but i should have given him at least a thumbs up or something. Whenever i'm loudly listening to something classic with my windows down i always wonder if people recognize it.

summer

I wasn't expecting to have a summer. But i got one. It's sad, in a sense, because i'm not around the family that i was just getting to know at Lewis & Clark, and i have no income, but i get to be with my real family. It's significant to me that i lost my job the very same day that my sister had her very last final. If that's not indicative of the need for spending time with her, i don't know what is.

We're leaving on Sunday for France. I don't know if i'll have any sort of consistent Internet access, but if i do, you'll know. Hopefully i'll have gotten over my non-picture-taking phase, and will have something to show for my trip.

I have some thoughts, but they don't want to come out just yet. A real post will hopefully happen soon.

temporary

Monday: sick, stayed on the couch for about 10 hours.
Tuesday: went on a road trip to Mansfield, MO with the Baileys and the sister.
Wednesday: stayed inside all day, longing to be outside in the beauty of the day but somehow felt absolutely constrained.
Thursday: possible hike, possible ride, Bible study.
Friday: people arrive to stay at my house along with 2 dogs.
Saturday: wedding in Eureka Springs.

I'm really really really ready to be in another country right now, looking at ancient rocks and writing papers about how we think people used to live their lives. I love the summer feeling of Europe. and i hate it when my muscles say, "Very soon we will implode. Please run or something." and i do nothing about it.