it's Stain, not Paint

Today was our last day of work in Chiang Rai. Tomorrow we head off to the almost-home portion of our trip.. and then it's home again, home again, jiggety jig.

I'm sitting in a small internet cafe--a portion of a row of businesses. The walls are pale blue, and the computers are in two neat rows lengthwise along them. The glass sliding doors are open, and i hear the motorcycles splashing past on the wet road. Next door is a restaurant, and the aroma of curry is floating into the cafe, making me think that i will miss Thai food more than i suspect. Another occupant of the cafe is playing a strange musical selection repeatedly: one of those mainstream pop songs, just with a screamer doing BGVs. It's kind of funny. Actually the main point of this paragraph was to say that the curry smells good, but i thought i should give you a few more details before i dropped that bomb.

I woke up this morning with a hymn playing in my mind. It was fabulous. I wanted to savor that moment--it made me feel so secure in my Lord! What a wonderful present to wake up to. Then i had a scrumptious omlette for breakfast, Thai style (really really fried, and served over rice, with one small slice of tomato on the side) along with my habitual spot of tea. My job today was to finish what i'd started yesterday: painting the playground with stain. It's stain, not paint, but to give you an accurate picture of what it looked like, a more accurate verb is "paint." The playground is a wooden structure, little houses connected by bridges. And we put a coat of stain on it of the Spanish Mahogany denomination, and it looks much better than it did before. The work was very pleasant for me, sitting in one of the roofed areas, listening to Jack Johnson. He says, "Can't you see that it's just raining..." and he was right. It was raining. I could see.

AIDS and the Value of Human Life

One of the main fascinations of my thought life recently has been HIV/AIDS. We are working at an orphanage specifically for children with the virus. I was asking one of the nannies what it was like to work with AIDS children, and she said that it was just like caring for normal kids, except they have to be extra careful when they get scrapes and cuts. Many of the children know multiple languages, and they all speak Thai and English, mainly because they have Thai and Western caretakers. Sometimes i hear them at their lessons, and see them run and play and get into mischief. One little boy is always sporting a Superman costume, and he runs around with his fist out in front of him, and he steps out from behind things with his hands on his hips. His name is Joe. I don't know the rest of his story, but i know that he has made a lasting impression on my memory and my heart.

It reminds me of Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. (Don't read this paragraph if you want to read the book because i'm ruining the surprise in it.) It's a futuristic novel that is actually very close to home. It's about children who grow up in a wonderful boarding school called Haversham, where they get education, physical excercise, good food, and discipline. They are forced to do artistic and creative things, and then when they get older they have to donate their organs. It turns out that they are each clones of another living person somewhere, and they were only created for the use of their body parts. The founder of Haversham was just one worker who had a heart for humanity, and she started the school because other clones all over the country were being treated like livestock. The art was to somehow show those in the beaurocracy that these children really did have souls, and were real people; that they really were worth all the thousands of extra pounds (it was set in England) to give them a sort of life worth living.

Home of the Open Heart is like that, in a way. It really would be a wonderful place to spend one's childhood, even if it is cut short. There is education, clean housing, fun playgrounds, loving care. Most of society rejects anyone with HIV/AIDS, mostly because they are ignorant of the fact that it's not contagious, just infectious. It's a scary thing to have your immune system gone, and so people shy away from it. The result is a heinous amount of hurting humanity, who are most likely going to have an early death anyway. HOH sees the value of human life. No one should live in destitution as a result of oppression by other human beings--that's just horrendous. I see destitution in conjunction with direct environmental factors as something that isn't being helped, though plenty of people in the world could--it's sickening and wrong. But to have a direct physical hand in ruining someone's life is even worse, if possible.

So, even though their earthly lives are doomed from the very moment of their conception to be foreshortened and painful, they shouldn't be doomed to be rejected. We're all in this together--every man physically dies. We might as well make it as eternally worthwhile as possible while we're here. The Creator never intended for humans to shun one another, but to build one another up, and care for one another. Why do you think a mother's instinct is to nourish and care for her baby? Because that's how it's supposed to be: love.

There are so many hurting and impoverished people in the world. How do we care for them all? How can one person make a difference to billions? I think the answer is discipleship. Sort of like the saying about teaching a man to fish. If you teach one man to fish, then he can teach his whole community how to fish, and they can go on to teach the neighboring community, and pretty soon the whole coastline never goes hungry. If we begin with teaching people how to live kindly and generously and lovingly, as it was supposed to be, then that, too, can be contagiously spread throughout communities and the world. All it would take is humility instead of pride, and teachability and cooperating instead of foolhardiness and independence, which is something that must be taught as well. Jesus taught it. My parents taught it to me, and i'm still working on it.

It's a daunting task, saving the world. And we can't do it. But that's why our Creator also provides grace.

Pleasantries and Parents

I love Nothern Thailand! It's cool in the evenings this time of year, which is lovely. My situation at the moment is really nice. I'm wearing the most comfortable clothes in the world (Thai fisherman pants and a yummy, soft t-shirt), and i'm listening to nice music on the Internet (a rather slight remedy for the fiasco of leaving my iPod behind). I'm nice and tired from a day of hard manual labor, and have a full stomach from a plate of delicious Thai food. It is definitely going to be missed when i get back! I'll want nothing but rice every day. Well, that's a lie. But i will miss the food here. I'm so happy that we are ending our trip in such a salubrious place (if you get my update emails you'll know what 'salubrious' means!) instead of an unpleasant one. The joy of being here reminds me to cherish this time and dulls the ache of wanting to be home. Note: I've been working alongside an erudite teammate of mine, so more of my proverbial vocabulary drawers have been opened in my brain. It's fun.

More people in the US should be on Skype at 7 am. I wonder why they're not?

Wise people who love and support me (i.e. parents) are so wonderful. Especially when i get wild-haired ideas like i sometimes do, and start heading towards things that i would regret, i am ever grateful for their guidance and foresight. I would never have gotten here, and would be somewhere i wouldn't want to be, without them. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

odds and ends

Within the past week, i have:

• had a song stuck in my head for over 60 hours, off and on, but mostly on since those hours involved two overnight bus rides on which i did not sleep very much (it was "Suicidal" or whatever--a song that i actually like for some reason, but i wouldn't mind never hearing it again at this point)
• galloped down a relatively clean and unpopulated beach on an Australian horse
• helped dig a hole for a septic system
• been ill
• traveled most of the north-south span of Thailand
• killed some cockroaches on a bus
• philosophized about life
• lost a grandfather
• eaten two scoops of blueberry ice cream for about 15 cents
• said "all right, pooch" and patted a dog on the head whose name was Pooch, not Gromit
• worn long pants for the first time in about a month
• listened to one of the most incredible songs in modern history ("Oh What a World" by Rufus Wainwright)
• been locked out of a room, and spent my time looking at the pictures in a Thai newspaper

laughter and tears, worry and romance

As i signed in to my email this morning, there were several messages in reply to my most recent update (i love those!). The first was from Robin Bickel, and it was so full of his personality and zeal for the Lord that it made me laugh with joy. Thank you, sincerely, so much. There were several other equally encouraging emails from dear friends. It is truly a precious thing to hear from loved ones, especially when overseas. And then, another email was from my beloved father, bearing the sad news that my grandfather in France passed away before my mother could get there. We know no details. I'm sure if anyone had been watching me, they would have found it strange that i was crying so soon after laughing.

I haven't been feeling well for the last few days, which is good timing because they haven't been ministry days, just travel and rest. I hope, though, that doesn't affect ministry in Chiang Rai with the HIV/AIDS children, because i know their immune systems are weak or gone. How utterly horrible it would be to cause an early death. I'm pretty sure i'm not contagious at all--just some stomach discomfort, and i've been careful to wash my hands a lot and etc. But still..

Last night i had a lot of time to journal and read. I wanted to read a love story in the Bible, but not the Song of Solomon. So i tried to find romantic stories among the adventures of King David, but the most exciting romance was between him and God. His first wife, who loved him at first, turned against him when he was dancing before the Lord (which was because he truly realized how holy and worthy the Lord is: it was right after Uzzah died when he touched the ark of the covenant to keep it from falling when the oxen stumbled--evidence of the Lord's wrath; then, the ark was moved to Obed-edom's house for three months, and his household was exceedingly blessed while it was there--evidence of the Lord's love and grace) and given to another man. Then, the story of Abigail could have been really romantic, but then David took another wife from Jezreel right afterwards. Lame. They both got captured by the Philistines (or was it the Amalekites?), but it doesn't say anything about David's great relief when he went and rescued them. Imagine how terrible it would be to be kidnapped by the enemy with your husband's other wife. Ugh. So i got tired of David and decided to read Hosea. Let me just say right now that God is way more romantic than any human ever was. I really didn't realize that that was why i was enjoying Hosea so much more until afterwards, and then i chastized myself for my silliness. Of course God is more romantic than man, because He is love. The book of Hosea is so full of emotion--it's the best love story ever, because it is the utmost redemption, the utmost righteousness, the utmost True Love. I could hear God's deep sadness and anger, and then His overwhelming joy, just from reading the words. How right it is to be His, and for Him to be ours. That is what His heart desires all along.

a couple thoughts

I've realized that i enjoy cooler weather over warmer weather, especially with humidity. However, it is lovely to be here in Phuket, 10 minutes from Patong Beach on foot, mostly because it's in Thailand. It is all very similar to the seaside tourist towns that i visited in Greece. The only difference would be the trinkets in the markets having more elephant themes and the language.

For some reason, i was curious about refusing marriage proposals, so i Google'd it. The only real-life stories on the internet are about accepted proposals, and the rest are usually references to literature--Pride and Prejudice about 25% of the time. Interesting.

Sorry this isn't too detailed. I'll perhaps write again later in the week. It may be evident that there is less opportunity for internet here (it's mostly around $1-2 per hour here, whereas we had it for about 30 cents in Bangkok).

New Year and Change of Location

When the clock officially turned from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM on January 1, 2008 in Bangkok, i was discussing the subtle but vital link between poverty and religion. For, if one's religion follows through on ideas enough to make humanity equal to or lesser than, say, rats, or cows, or anything else, there is no motivation to get rid of pests and therefore save lives, nor to use readily available resources (meager as they may be) to solve mass hunger. This is why Christ is the only solution to world problems; for when one embraces Him and His ideas concerning humanity, one recognizes that mankind is truly worth more than the rest of the stuff in the world. Thanks to Merry from Maui for giving me several days' (and probably years) worth of food for thought.

Yesterday we got on a bus and drove for 12 hours overnight to reach our next outreach destination: Phuket! It's quite beautiful. I'm sure i'll share pictures sometime in the future, near or far. I'm excited to serve our British hosts, and founders of the SHE ministry (Self-Help and Empowerment for prostitutes).